"Six months after I broke my hands, Todd and I went to a costume birthday party for one of his friends. The couple lived in Broadmoor, too, just a few doors down from our house. When we arrived on foot, I stood in the doorway of their expansive living room, trying to match my Western cowgirl costume—a bandana and a leather cowboy hat—with a forced, grouchy, somber expression.
I felt like a stranger to myself. I felt depressed. My now mostly healed hands tipped cocktail after cocktail as I tried drinking enough vodka that night to drown out Slygore’s consistent nagging, You’re a failure. You don’t know how to be in a relationship, let alone be married. You’ve messed this one up, too. You’re worthless. You better get out soon. You sssuuuuccckkkk.
Todd and I managed to navigate the after-effects of my accident and stay married, but I still felt disconnected from him. We barely spoke once we entered our friends’ house. I was in yet another cycle of negativity bias, where my mind paid more attention to the negative stories than the positive ones. I deeply believed my marriage was making me depressed. Pretending to be mean and grouchy in my costume felt more authentic than pretending to be happy and grateful.
I didn’t want to feel any of the unhappy, negative emotions that had been building for years and years, even way before Todd came into my life. I sincerely wanted to feel the same joy and happiness that seemed to emanate from everyone else at the party that night, yet I couldn’t. My anger was solely directed at my husband. I wasn’t happy, and I blamed him. I was like a broken record, going around and around singing the same words. Why wasn’t he making me happy? That was a big part of his role in our marriage, right? Why am I so unhappy with my life again? Why do I keep picking the wrong men?
Making matters worse for me that night was Todd’s ever-present, life-of-the-party personality. He looked like he was happy and having fun, and that made me even angrier. It’s interesting how things change. Five years after meeting him, the very thing I once found exhilarating about Todd was now the exact thing that made me want to throttle him."
Available now on Kindle.
Available in paperback and hardcover July 20th.
Available on Audible in August.
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I didn’t fall in love with reading until just a few years ago—strange, I know. Up until then, I probably owned fewer than five books: three about sales and two outdated fashion guides. Reading wasn’t part of my daily life—or even my yearly life. Books were something I admired from a distance but never fully invited in.
That changed in March of 2023, when I made an unexpected decision: I was going to write a novel. It wasn’t just about telling a story—it was about healing, self-reflection, and growth. Writing became an extension of my inner work—a way to give shape to the emotions, lessons, and insights I’d been carrying, and to connect with others on a deeper level.
My hope for this book is simple: that it moves people. It stirs something inside them, whether that’s reflection, emotion, or the desire to shift something in their own lives. If one person feels seen, inspired, or awakened to their purpose, rather than being overwhelmed by the world’s noise, then I’ve achieved what I set out to do.
That said, not every reader is looking for a breakthrough. Some just want a good, layered story—and this book offers that, too.
Writing this novel has been one of the most personal journeys I’ve ever taken, and I’m genuinely excited to share it with you.
Release is slated for July 20, 2025.
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